James E. Lee's Personal Blog

Theeeerree's Arianna!

Ari really likes peek-a-boo.

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Sunday, 03 Aug 2008
Posted to: Baby

Whether you were there with us in spirit or in person at Dad's memorial service, all of us — Dad included — appreciate all your love, support, and kindness during these last months and days.

Here is the presentation that was displayed at the memorial service. It includes various memories you have shared and that we hold dear about my father.

Here is the front of the chapel at the service, with Dad's urn in the center:

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Tuesday, 15 Jul 2008
Posted to: Family

After spending his last weeks enjoying the company of family and friends, Dad passed away peacefully Monday morning. I plan to write about it more here later, but right now, we're trying to make arrangements and spend time with each other and cherish our pleasant memories of him.

I want to post his obituary here now, and mention that the Contra Costa Times has an online guest book where people can share thoughts and memories about him. The guest book will be online for a year, until 9 July 2009.

Here is his obituary:

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Thursday, 10 Jul 2008
Posted to: Family

It's amazing to think Arianna has been "on the outside" as long as she was gestating. Where did nine months go? I'm trying hard to savor this wonderful time when Arianna is a baby, yet it seems to slip past, almost in defiance of my efforts. One reason I'm spending so much time and effort writing and choosing pictures is to try to connect us as clearly as possible to what it was like and how we felt when look back on the times we've had. Neither words nor pictures can convey the profound sense of joy we feel, but I don't think that's going to do anything but take different forms as we continue to experience the magic of Arianna...

She continues to be engaged, intrigued, and entertained by her Leap Frog Learn and Groove music table, which encourages her to sit up and kneel, as well as reach and use her hands while maintaining her upright position. Ania was always looking forward to the time when Arianna could play with it, and I see why! We gave one to cousin Lily when she was ready, and she too, really got a lot out of it.

She's been especially smiley this week, which you can see from the photos we took during our family picnic at Lafayette Reservoir. It's clear that Ari really likes to smile, and more than that, to make us smile. When she flashes a grin at you, you can't help but feel a ray of joy going right to your heart!

Ari has started to "dance", and it's adorable! It's mostly bobbing her head at this point, but it's clearly associated with music -- I play reggae on the XM radio that comes with our DirecTV service, and I think the music table is part of it too -- and she seems to get a kick out of it. For her, dancing is yet another reason to smile.

She's also begun to laugh spontaneously, then really start cracking up at herself, which is of course, quite infectious. It's awesome to see her developing a sense of humor!

Arianna always enjoys the swing when we go to the park.

And she gets a kick out of her Kindercise class, where she sometimes encounters unexpected challenges.

She had another play date with our neighbor's daughter, baby Cordi and her nanny, Daysi, who will also be taking care of Arianna when grandma Wanda goes home to Poland. Ari and Cordi always seem to have fun together, and the nanny is great with the two of them. We've been having several play dates with both Daysi and Wanda, so Ari has a chance to get used to her new nanny with the comfort and security of her loving grandmother.

This year was Ari's first 4th of July. She's too young to stay up for fireworks, but showed her spirit nonetheless!

Milestones & Metrics

• Fourth tooth (top right) all the way in
• Can consistently pick up individual Cheerios and eat them
• Had pasta for the first time
  
• Had Chinese food for the first time; Shen Hua, of course!
• Starting to be comfortable standing, with support
• How Arianna looks this week:
  

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Friday, 04 Jul 2008
Posted to: Baby

We had a fun picnic lunch at Lafayette Reservoir this afternoon!

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Sunday, 29 Jun 2008
Posted to: Baby | Outings & Recreation | Photos

Arianna was pretty busy this week, and seemed to really enjoy herself. The big event was going swimming for the first time this Sunday, which she loved! She also had two play dates, and is doing great interacting with other kids.

Allan and Denise brought baby Eliza over for brunch:

and Ania's friend Ania (also from Poland) brought baby Julia over for a play date:

There's something really lovely about watching babies learn to relate and socialize...

She ate her first ice cream cone — minus the ice cream — and we had just about as much fun watching her as she did exploring the new textures, sounds ("crunch!"), and tastes.

Ania took her to the library to get some new books:

And she worked on her piano skills:

I put on a little puppet show — my first ever — for her and made her laugh. Now I see what people mean about kids bringing out the kid in you, and it really is fun!

Milestones & Metrics

• Fourth tooth (top right) started coming in
• First time swimming in a pool (YMCA, 22 June)
• We lowered her crib mattress to second-lowest setting; she's really becoming a lot more mobile, and is pretty tall for her age. It was sad, though, because it's another sign that she's not so much of a little baby anymore...
• First ice cream cone
• How Arianna looks this week:
  

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Friday, 27 Jun 2008
Posted to: Baby

Ania's mom, Wanda has single-handedly transformed the hillside in our backyard from an eyesore of a bleak and barren slope to a lush, terraced garden full of flowers and tomatoes. The colorful flowers have made spring and summer at our home even more pleasant and beautiful!

Here's a look at the yard as it was in April 2007 and below, after all her hard work, how it looks now in June 2008:

After weeks of care and attention, those tomatoes have finally started to ripen, and the first crop is ready!

It's too bad I so strongly dislike tomatoes — I'm sure they'll be juicy and delicious — but I will at least try them!

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Wednesday, 25 Jun 2008
Posted to: Before & After | House & Home

We took Arianna swimming for the first time! She did great and really seemed to enjoy it!

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Sunday, 22 Jun 2008
Posted to: Baby

Arianna has decided that being carried is the most efficient means of rapid transportation over long distance, and she doesn't hesitate to show where she wants to go once I pick her up. She points her arm, and if we don't start moving, she'll lean and bend to prompt some action. I realize now that in her eyes, I've become the "Daddy Taxi", and my job is to take her where she wants to go.

We enjoyed celebrating my first Father's Day this week.

Arianna entertained us by playing peek-a-boo, but did it in her own way. She was sitting on the floor, and bent forward and down with her head between her feet, almost touching the floor with her forehead. We have no idea what prompted this, but Ania asked, "Where's Ari?" and Ari popped up with a smile! She bent down again, and I asked "Wheeeere's Ari?!?" and she popped up.

She kept on and on, enjoying making us laugh with glee. It was one of the cutest things I've ever seen, and I love that she was having fun with us like that! We were especially touched because this is the first time she so consciously did something to entertain us. This is the kind of thing that just blows my mind about having a child. From the outside, it's hard to see, but it's amazing to experience our sweet baby's development and awakening.

Milestones & Metrics

• First time on a train - Tilden Park Steam Trains
• Top left tooth came out
• Initiated playing peek-a-boo with us
• How Arianna looks this week:
  

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Friday, 20 Jun 2008
Posted to: Baby

Father's Day was different this year, because it's my first time celebrating as a father in addition to celebrating my father. Ania and Ari surprised me in the morning with a sweet hand-made card with Ari's handprints and footprints and pictures of Ari and me together.

Then they gave me two frames with photos, one of me holding Ari when she was a little less than three months old:

and another with three photos from the same time:

Ania knows I dearly cherish the time when Ari was a little tiny baby, and this a perfect way to remember my happy introduction to fatherhood.

Thanks to Marlena for the lovely photos!

I've said before how much I've changed after having Arianna, and I spent some time thinking about that today. I'm still shocked at the overpowering emotion I feel for our daughter, and now I truly understand how my parents were always able to say, "We love you no matter what."

I told my dad how much I appreciate all the time, effort, sacrifice, and love he put into being a father; now I'm starting to understand first-hand where all that comes from, and how joyfully it's given. I know I've got a huge responsibility and a big "job" ahead of me, but I've never had any doubt that I'll be a good father, because I've always had a great example in him. I couldn't think of a more important gift for a father to give to his son than that!

I was excited to spend the day with Ari, and wanted to show her something new, so we went for a ride on the steam train in Tilden Park and had a great time! Ari's a bit young to really understand what we were doing, but she loved all the people, sights and sounds, and it made me smile to see it all through her eyes.

I'm proud to be a father, and so glad I've been able to experience the joy and love Arianna has brought to our lives!

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Sunday, 15 Jun 2008
Posted to: Baby

Saturday was a bit warm, so we headed out to the Martinez Marina to enjoy the bay breeze, beautiful sunny day, and see the water.

Ari spent some time just checking things out, contemplating life, and getting some sun:

On Sunday, Ari did a little hat modeling with grandma Wanda...

Then we spent a relaxing afternoon on the patio at Chevy's, where Ari perused the menu and we enjoyed a drink together.

We were hanging out in bed Tuesday, and Ari was straddling Ania's leg. I suggested that Ania put her arms out to the side so Ari could use them to raise herself up. Apparently, that wasn't necessary; Ari stood up using only the strength of her own legs! She really likes standing — I think because she sees what a different perspective it gives her on the world — and you can see how proud she is when she does it; she'll invariably turn and look at you with a big smile on her face.

We do want to encourage her to crawl before she walks, though, and she's started lifting her bottom when she's on her tummy, which is a good sign that she may do so soon. She continues to enjoy moving around and rolling, and for the first time, she actually rolled over a couple times to get a toy!

We also had a nice visit with the Elmgrens this week. They're the family Ania lived with when she first came to the U.S. When I met Ania, she was helping take care of Zabie, who was about 5, and Ollie and Anna, who were maybe a year old. It's really something to now see these kids holding Ari, who's almost as old as they were when I met them!

Sometimes, Ari is so cute I just don't know what to do!

I mentioned before that Ari really enjoys bathtime:

Milestones & Metrics

• Started to use her legs to raise her bottom up
• Stood up unassisted
• Rolled more than once to go get something
• Ate chicken for the first time. Ania has been making some of Ari's food, and this week, she made chicken for the first time, boiling it, then pureeing it and mixing with pureed vegetables; Ari loved it!
• How Arianna looks this week:
  

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Friday, 13 Jun 2008
Posted to: Baby

Ari's still not crawling, but she's really moving around a lot this week. It wasn't long ago that she'd get tired out after a 360-degree tummy rotation on the floor, which took a fair amount of time and effort. Now if she sees something she wants, she can rotate 90 degrees in a flash to go investigate or grab it. She practically jumps around in her crib, sometimes seeming to entertain herself by tossing, turning, and rolling around, which is really fun to watch on the video monitor. We're not sure why, but she first became comfortable with a lot of her movements there. Perhaps she perceives the relative safety since it's a confined space, or maybe she's just very familiar with it, so that's where she can try new things. She first began rotating in her crib and first rolled from her tummy to her back there.

When we change her diaper, she invariably wants to reach across with her right arm to scratch the wall (checking out the texture) on her left side. "Lie flat" has become my standard phrase while changing her, though I still ask her to "Work with Daddy" to get her to cooperate in terms of her legs.

Speaking of her legs, she's finding all kinds of ways to use them lately, so it shouldn't be long before she's crawing.

She really wants to stand, and definitely knows how to ask for it; she reaches out toward our hands, expecting that will result in us standing her up, which it usually does. She can even stand on her own for brief periods, with something to hold onto!

She's also getting more and more willful and comfortable showing what she wants. I learned that I can't prepare her food with her in one arm, because she leans over (and she's very strong) to try to get it.

Just a couple weeks ago, her first tooth began to appear; now both bottom front teeth are through, and Ari can bite! I made the mistake of putting my finger in to feel for top teeth, and she chomped down hard on it! "Ow!" came out involuntarily loud. But it really hurt! That aforementioned strength is clearly in her jaws too. Unfortunately, my reaction scared Ari, who made the cutest sad face ever and started crying. I held her and reassured her, but I've definitely learned my lesson; my finger still hurt throughout the next day!

Wednesday evening, she enjoyed her first time having her teeth brushed!

Ari had a pretty busy weekend; on Friday, Steffani came to visit. She was one of the major planners of Ania's baby shower and hadn't met Ari since she's been "on the outside".

On Saturday, Ari had a fun playdate with Ania (also from Poland) and Carl's daughter Julia; the two girls are about 3 weeks apart, and really seemed excited to see each other. It was cute to see them both reaching out to hold hands and touch each other, though we had to keep reminding them to be gentle.

Sunday, Ania and Ari spent some time looking at flowers in the backyard, then we went to the annual Polish picnic at Concord Community Park, where Ari tried her best to bite some kielbasa.

And Arianna helped brighten Nana Helen's birthday on Monday, having fun here laughing and smiling with Grandpa Jim:

Milestones & Metrics

• First time having her teeth brushed
• Stood on her own for brief period
• How Arianna looks this week:
  

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Friday, 06 Jun 2008
Posted to: Baby

Ania took Arianna out to the backyard to show her some of the pretty flowers Grandma Wanda has been planting.

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Sunday, 01 Jun 2008
Posted to: Baby

Arianna turned eight months old this week (check out the photo shoot Ania did), and it's clear she's beginning to grow up a bit. We just went to baby Christian's first birthday party the other weekend, and last Saturday, we celebrated cousin Lily's first birthday with a small family gathering at Mom & Dad's. Ari was very interested in Lily's gifts, and they started a bit of tug-of-war over one, but Lily did a great job of sharing and they worked it out. It was really sweet to see them play together!

She's even going to start eating "big girl" food! She had her 8-month checkup today, and the doctor said she's doing great, and cleared her to start eating table food! She can have cheese, meat, vegetables, etc., they just have to be mashed up enough for her. She had her first yogurt today, and loved it! She had her first Cheerios too, but wasn't so sure about that.

As much as all these developments and new things are great, I still want to keep her as a baby! :(

Milestones & Metrics

• Turned eight months old!
• Stats: Length: 29.25", Weight: 20lbs 4oz, Head circumference: 45cm
• Starting to recognize (and love) herself in the mirror:
  
• Second tooth popped through
• Moved into the "big girl" car seat
• Got a training potty! (29 May) Did her first #1 (29 May), and first (and second) #2 (30 May) in the training potty.
• Sat in a restaurant high chair for the first time
• Went from sitting to prone in pursuit of a toy
• Comfortable and happy to sleep on her tummy
• Can roll both ways in bed
• Ate her first yogurt and first Cheerios
• How Arianna looks this week:
  

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Friday, 30 May 2008
Posted to: Baby

Ari turned eight months old today (28 May)!

Grandma Wanda made a beautiful bouquet for Arianna from the flowers she's been growing in our yard, and Ania took some adorable pictures of Ari over at Mom & Dad's house.

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Wednesday, 28 May 2008
Posted to: Baby

I've noticed that you can see Arianna's smile in her eyes just as much as on her lips. I jotted that down the other day in my notes, and looking at it as I began to write this entry, it made me think about the fact that all of her communication now is unspoken. (I had originally written non-verbal, but Ania pointed out that making noises is "verbal", in a sense.) At almost eight months old, she can make noises, but she can't talk, so she has to find other ways to tell us how she feels and what she wants — and she does!

Sometimes it's quite clear, like when she jerks and thrashes — a new way she's found to say "Feed me now!" Other times, it's not so obvious, like her tendency to emit loud, long, high-pitched squeals. We don't know what these mean, but they don't appear to be either happy or unhappy sounds (well, they often seem to be more happy than not, but sometimes they seem downright neutral); maybe she's just seeing what it's like to make noise and hear herself.

We're teaching her unspoken forms communication too, like waving (which she seems to really enjoy) clapping (her newest skill), and some basic baby sign language (milk, water, eat, more, mommy, daddy, all gone) that we've been trying. I've always been in favor of explicit communication, and generally discourage relying on non-verbal cues whenever possible. Being a new parent has caused me to revisit this approach, at least with Arianna.

Before our daughters were born, Jene and I were talking about the Dunstan baby language, featured on Oprah. I watched the show and thought it was incredible, and was sure Ania and I would buy the DVD. Jene pointed out that while she agreed with the general idea that babies cry differently for different reasons, it's something parents can learn on their own, and don't necessarily need a book or DVD to learn.

I've come to agree — it's really true that a baby will give you signs for what she needs, even if she does so unconsciously. Becoming attuned to these signs is part of learning to be a parent. For example, Ari was getting pretty cranky this morning, which is rare unless she's tired. So, I put her down about half an hour early for her nap and she was out almost instantly. This wasn't a case of decoding her cry so much as her behavior, but it was a good reminder of the importance of being aware of and responsive to my daughter's communication, long before she can talk. And no, I didn't buy the DVD.

Ari went to her first birthday party this week! Taylor & Rossy's son, Christian, turned 1 year old, and we went to Golden Gate Park in San Francisco to celebrate. Ari had a great time, and really enjoyed her first ride on a carousel.

Ari spent the rest of the week having a good time looking at books, playing with toys, checking out bubbles, working on waving and clapping, and playing with Grandma Wanda.

Milestones & Metrics

• Really able to wave now
• Learning to clap her hands
• First night without 10pm feeding (22 May)
• Slept on her tummy most of the night (22 May)
• Rolled to the right for the first time this morning! (18 May)
• First eye doctor appointment (22 May)
• Seems to be responding to the camera! Clearly did so when I began to take "Friday pictures" this morning (23 May)
• How Arianna looks this week:
  

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Friday, 23 May 2008
Posted to: Baby

We saw the beginning of Arianna's first tooth while bathing her tonight! (16 May) It's just a little tiny dark spot that's pretty hard to see, but it's there!

I'm amazed by how Arianna can be so fun, smiley, and interactive, yet quickly flip into serious mode and studiously focus on something that captures her attention. Sometimes this happens with a snap of her head; she'll turn and zero in on something — almost like a hunting animal that thinks it's caught the scent of prey — until she's satisfied, then she moves on. A really fun example of this is when I brush her hair at the end of her bath; it used to seem to calm her down, but now, I think the sensation of the brush touching her head piques her curiosity, and she arches her back and tilts her head back trying to look at the brush. She's fanatical about seeing the brush, and it cracks me up!

This focusing happens in a different, but also very evident way when she meets someone new; she'll just spend a few minutes calmly gazing at and studying them. So far, everyone seems to have passed muster; Ari's generally very sociable and happy to meet new people, and is always friendly after this initial phase. Here she is with Uncle Kenny (with whom she's hung out a fair amount, but not enough that she instantly remembers), studying, then smiling:

Speaking of socialization, Arianna is starting to learn how to wave! She doesn't quite know the difference between "hi" and "bye-bye" yet, but she's been copying us by moving one arm when we say either one and wave to her. It's adorable!

She's been having fun drumming this week, and is starting to follow her toy drum, banging on it after it prompts her. After an intense jam session, she often likes to kick back and down a sippy cup or two of water.

Milestones & Metrics

• We celebrated our first Mother's Day this week!
• Can rotate 360 degrees on her tummy (15 May)
• She's back on track with sleeping through the night; for a few days she started to wake around 3-3:30, but seems to have settled back into her all-night sleep routine.
• Started jerking whole body when angry/hungry; becoming rather willful!
• Starting to wave
• How Arianna looks this week:
  

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Friday, 16 May 2008
Posted to: Baby

This is Ania's first Mother's Day, and we're both overjoyed to have this holiday apply to us. :) Neither of us could imagine a more perfect Mother's Day gift than this!

Ania is a natural mom, and that's never so clear as when you see her with Arianna. Of course she's great at all the practical stuff, but it's when she's showing Ari how loved and cherished she is that Ania really shines. You can see from how happy Arianna is that Ania's doing an excellent job in every aspect of motherhood, and it's wonderful to see how happy and fulfilled she is in this new role!

Here are some of my favorite mommy/daughter moments from Ania's first eight months of being a mom:

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Sunday, 11 May 2008
Posted to: Baby

I'm still really backlogged in publishing entries about Arianna, but I have been taking notes every week. I think it's important to write it down, even if it's not edited and the pics aren't chosen yet. There's no reason I can't catch up from both directions!

Ari's been moving up toward the top of her crib during the night, sometimes getting wedged into the corner. We've been fortunate that she's doing really well with sleeping through the night, but this new moving around thing has been waking her up.

Sometimes she wakes up pretty unhappy about the fact that she's in the corner or against the side of the crib, and I'm a bit paranoid about her wrenching her neck in frustration, so I'm yet again glad we got the video monitor about which I've sung praises before. Ania inclined the mattress to try to keep her from moving up, but Ari countered that by going perpendicular! The problem is, she's just about as tall as the crib is wide, so that's gonna be a very tight squeeze soon. She was so adorable when I went to get her this morning (07 May) and saw her all turned around, looking up at me as if to say, "Look what I did!"

Arianna has a very distinct personality now, and is clearly enjoying learning how to interact and communicate. She loves to smile and seems to purposely do things that make us smile at her, looking for our reaction; what a joy it is to indulge her! Sometimes I wonder if we're starting to see Ari developing a sense of humor...

We've been enjoying visiting with Jene, Carter, and Lily, and the two babies are great together, sharing toys, and even collaborating on a little music. It was especially nice to be able to celebrate Jene's birthday with her this year; it's been a while since we've been together on her birthday.

We usually keep Arianna's face pretty clean while feeding her, but Ania was having fun one day and made a moustache on her face. It was so cute, she couldn't help continuing to play. I love this picture where Ari looks like a forlorn clown!

Arianna has long been holding her own bottle, which is great, but it's also a double-edged sword. I liked holding it for her, because it very directly involved me with feeding her. Bottle feeding is already one layer of abstraction away from breast feeding, which I can imagine must be a wonderful bond to experience. But now, having fostered her independence by teaching her to hold the bottle, I've move yet another layer away from the process. *sniff* On the other hand, it's really fun to say "Hold the bottle!" and see her hands shoot out & take it, and watch her negotiate getting the nipple into her mouth, holding that big glass bottle. :)

Some of my favorite times are when we just sit quietly together, and Ari absorbs the world in the comfort of my arms. Times like this, I feel like Ari and I really "get" each other — perhaps this "Daddy/baby time" is my equivalent to breast feeding, but instead of food, I'm nourishing her sense of security and love...

Milestones & Metrics

• Grandma Wanda has been teaching her, and now Ari can open the door and mailbox in her toy house by herself.
• Started eating prunes and avocado.
• Getting much stronger on her tummy, staying up higher and longer on her arms. Wanda said that today (09 May) she was even turning pages in the books she reads (Mommy taught her that a long time ago) while on her tummy!
• Rolling over "for the fun of it" now, but still not always happy to end up on her tummy, and can't yet roll back. She also never rolls to the right, always to her left.
• Started a bit of tantrum like crying; this is generally a sign of hunger, but I think it's evidence of the Dark Side too, and believe me, the Force is strong with this one!
• Loves high-pitched squealing. Yes, we hear you, Arianna! :)
• Twisting her tongue in her mouth; prep for talking?
• Started rocking back and forthon her tummy, probably a sign of pre-crawling!
• How Arianna looks this week:
  

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Friday, 09 May 2008
Posted to: Baby

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Wednesday, 09 Apr 2008
Posted to: Baby

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Posted by: James E. Lee on Sunday, 23 Mar 2008
Posted to: Baby